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 I wrote this to aldersprig's prompt "Something off of that facilitator story?" and so it follows on from Hook, Line And Sinker. It came out at 747 words, but I was already writing it.

The advertisement was quite modest.  It read:
To Whom It May Concern,

It has come to the attention of the undersigned that a person or persons purporting to represent her have been offering the undersigned’s services as a Relationship Facilitator to the public in exchange for financial consideration.

The undersigned has never given any person permission to represent her in such a fashion and at no time has she provided services of the type described to any person or groups of persons.  Anyone who has provided financial consideration to any party in respect of services of the type described to purportedly be provided by the undersigned should recoup said consideration from the party to whom it was paid.

Enni Barlinga-Karble-Mentford

Bella had gone around to her sister’s place in high dudgeon.  She had put herself to a great deal of effort to help Enni get established in her career and now the silly creature was doing her best to undo all Bella’s work.  She rapped firmly on the door of a third floor apartment in rather plain building.  “Enni, it’s Bella.  I know you’re in there.  Now open up and let me in!”

The door opened a crack, the security chain clearly still in place, letting Bella see a stripe of her marginally younger sister through the opening.  "My solicitors sent you a letter asking you not to approach me,” said Enni firmly.  “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” snapped back Bella.  “We don’t need lawyers to sort this out.  Just let me in so we can talk sensibly and in a civilized fashion.”

“But I don’t want to talk to you,” replied Enni, “so I’m not going to let you in.  Anything you want to say to me, you can say to my solicitors.  Good bye.”

She started closing the door but Bella shoved her soft leather tote bag into the gap.  “You’re making yourself even more ridiculous, Enni.”  She saw something through the gap over her bag and said, shocked and horrified, “You can’t be pregnant!  If you’re going to have it, then it has to go back to the father and his marriage.  I’ll take care of all the arrangements, but you need to let me in!”

“This conversation is over,” said Enni stonily.  “Anything else you want to say, you can say to my solicitor.  If you don’t take your bag out of my door and leave the building, I’m calling the police.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Bella was getting exasperated.

Before she could say anything else a male voice from behind her said, “Lady, I live downstairs and you woke me up so I came up here to ask you to keep it down,” Bella looked over her shoulder and found that the speaker was quite a good looking man with tanned olive skin, black hair and a neat, matching beard.  “Now though, I’ve just heard my neighbour tell you to leave after you made what could be considered a threat.  If you don’t go quietly right away, I’m going to call the police.”  He already held a mobile phone in his hand.

Truly exasperated now, Bella said, “That wasn’t a threat, that was an offer to help.  My sister just needs to be sensible and let me take care of things if she can’t or won’t take care of them herself!”

“Go away.  I do not need your help and I don’t want to talk to you.”  Enni was articulating carefully and precisely.

The man started pushing buttons on his phone.

“Fine!”  Bella through her hands up in the air and then pulled her bag out of the door.  “Don’t blame me when this all ends in tears!”

She stormed past the black haired man and down the stairs.  He peered over the edge of the bannisters and watched until Bella passed out of sight as she moved across the lobby to the doors.

As he straightened Enni asked, “Has she really gone?”

“Looks like it,” he replied.  “I’m Tarpin, by the way.”

Enni took the chain off her door and opened it.  “You’re the mail guy who lives downstairs, aren’t you?  I’m Enni.”  She offered him her hand to shake.  “Thank you for your help there.”

Tarpin shook her hand with just the right firmness and duration.  “Not a problem.  Look, I really do need to get some sleep now but would you like to go for coffee sometime?”

Enni smiled quietly.  “I think I’d like that, thank you.”

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... WTF is wrong with you, Bella? I find myself hoping you end this mess at least one of broke and in jail, as apparently not only were you screwing up Enni's life, you were making money off of it and defrauding other people.

Moar plz?

<wonders whether any of Enni's ... exes? ... are actually likely to see that listing, or if anyone not currently looking for a Relationship Facilitator would miss it.>

My head canon has people Enni doesn't even know or remember asking for introductory fees back....:)

<wanders back after letting this stew>

So, say, someone she chatted with at a party once and introduced to someone else as casual small talk? That possibly Bella pointed to her?

More like:

Bella: You need to go to this coffee shop at this time to meet my sister the facilitator to see if she can help you.

Enni: *goes to her favourite coffee shop for coffee and cake, and maybe talks to other customers sometimes.*

Dear Bella: you don't seem to understand that 1) your sister is upset, and 2) the reason she's upset is because you haven't bothered discussing any of this with her first. (Or, possibly, you did, and she told you exactly where you could stick it.) So please fix your recto-cranial inversion, or the tears this ends in will likely be yours.

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